Overview of the cabinet

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BY MIKE ROOK

Under the stewardship of Zimbabwe’s 27 cabinet ministers listed below, the country has become a total basket case:
Emmerson Mnangagwa, General Nyambuya, Didymus Mutasa, Joseph Made, Stan Mudenge, Nicholas Goche, Paul Mangwana, Oppah Muchinguri, Rugare Gumbo, Flora Buka, Kembo Muhadi, Francis Nhema, Herbert Murerwa, Sydney Sekeramayi, Munacho Mutezo, Tichaona Jokanya, Ignatious Chombo, Amos Midzi, Patrick Chinamasa, Chris Mushawe, Sithembiso Nyoni, Elliot Manyika, Olivia Muchena, Webster Shamu, Josiah Tungamirai, David Parirenyata, Aeneas Chigwedere,
Despite shocking track records this gang of 27 cling on to power and its accompanying privileges without shame or conscience, hoping against hope that accountability will forever escape them in this world and the next.
The excessive employment packages for these elevated and ineffective decision makers cost struggling Zimbabwean tax payers billions of dollars annually, and their jaunts outside the country gobble up an abundance of scarce foreign exchange, that would be better utilised importing inputs to repair broken-down essential strategic services.
In an environment of hunger, unemployment and unaffordable education and basic health care, what do they do to justify their super elitist lifestyles?
Perhaps a brief comment on each ministry would shed some light on the matter.
Emmerson Mnangagwa, Rural Housing and Social Amenities: Emmerson’s task has been awesome. Due to the disgraceful debacle of Murambatsvina in the urban areas he has had to redouble his efforts to ensure adequate housing and social amenities for the thousands of homeless victims relocated to the countryside. This exercise is running way behind schedule.
General Nyambuya, Energy and Power development: I wonder if the old war horse has a job description to help him fathom the meaning of what is rather an ambiguous title. In the meantime it is apparent that his interpretation of responsibilities is to energetically support government in retaining power at all costs.
Didymus Mutasa, National Security - an excellent track record of discouraging any form of national security breaches, such as legitimate opposition and dissent, by condoning public beatings and arbitrary detentions.
Joseph Made, Agriculture - the clown prince amongst his peers. It has to be said that if his crop forecasts turned out to be even a close call Zimbabwe would once again be responsible for food security within the SADCC region.
Stan Mudenge, Higher and Tertiary Education: unfortunately for Stan his portfolio is now almost defunct. To enter tertiary and higher learning one first has to pass through primary and secondary school and in today’s Zimbabwe most parents do not have the wherewithal to manage even the basic charges levied by the educational authorities.
Paul Mangwana, State Enterprises monopolies, Anti Corruption. What a mouthful. Paul must be a busy man, particularly as the government has a monopoly on its tenure of office, and bearing in mind that most of the state enterprises are corrupt.
Oppah Muchinguri, Women’s Affairs, Gender and Community Development: women of Zimbabwe arise, Oppah is there for you. Gender sensitivity is not one of her strong points and the infamous Murambatsvina must have been a devastating blow to her credibility.
Rugare Gumbo, Economic Development: it’s mission impossible for Rugare.
Flora Buka, State Affairs responsible for Land and Resettlement Programme: a very popular member of cabinet is Flora. Just ask any of her honourable colleagues who are comfortably resettled on confiscated commercial farms.
Kembo Muhadi, Home Affairs: Where most countries are struggling to contain immigration, he struggles to contain emigration. He has to be congratulated in achieving his objective by ensuring the unavailability of Zimbabwe passports.
Francis Nhema, Tourism; Francis has two big advantages in his favour. The first is the Victoria Falls and the second is a totally devalued local currency.
Herbert Murerwa, Finance: not too stressful as his ministry has been taken over by the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe.
Sydney Sekeramayi, Defence: defending the indefensible makes his job that much more difficult.
Munacho Mutezo, Water Resources and Infrastructural Development: concerning water resources the vagaries of El Nino must cause Munacho sleepless nights. When he discovers that infrastructural development actually means the basic organisation of a country’s large scale public systems he may just throw in the towel.
Tichaona Jokanya, Information and Publicity: this responsibility is somewhat of a conundrum for Tichaona. However he has grasped the mettle by sorting out exactly what information is politically correct, and censoring or closing down everything else. His astute philosophy is that bad publicity is better than no publicity at all.
Ignatious Chombo, Local Government: Ignatious has had a very fruitful term of office accomplishing the very difficult task of removing elected mayors and councillors, and replacing them with incompetent lackeys.
Amos Midzi, Mines: Amos is not one to be left out of acquisition. Like his counterpart in agriculture he has overseen government take over of profitable mining companies, causing dampening of international investment and the halting of large in-flows of foreign exchange.
Patrick Chinamasa, Legal and Parliamentary Affairs - he has a habit of often wearing fashionable designer shades, resulting in problems reading the small print buried in legal documents. He must be forgiven for his controversial interpretation of various points of law.
Chris Mushowe, Transport and Communications: his job is to ensure a viable and cost effective system of transportation for the movement of people and supplies. He must be out of the country on long leave. Otherwise he’d be aware of insufficient busses, an archaic and broken down railway system, and a national airline on the verge of collapse.
Sithembiso Nyoni, Small and Medium Scale Enterprises: Sithembiso has succeeded in ensuring that any enterprises in Zimbabwe are not only small to medium but insignificant.
Elliot Manyika, Minister without Portfolio – spend his time trying to discover exactly what he is supposed to do, and in the meantime he thanks his lucky stars every time his generous pay and allowances are deposited into his bank account.
Olivia Muchena, Science and Technology: a crucial portfolio, ensuring that the latest techniques are in place to jam the airways.
Webster Shamu, Policy Implementation: a tricky one for Webster as most policies are watered down or never implemented.
Josiah Tungamirai, Indigenisation and Empowerment: well-paid jobs for the boys is Josiah’s forte, with the proviso of course they slavishly support the ruling party.
David Parirenyatwa, Health: with run down hospitals, understaffed clinics, shortages of essential drugs, and highly inflated medical consultation charges, David is in the doldrums.
Aeneas Chigwedere, Education Sport and Culture: to say the least Aeneas is somewhat confused. He has serious problems understanding simple mathematics. This is aptly illustrated by his continuous directives to private schools ordering them to reduce income to below expenditure.
For Blair Bush and the European Union to implement targeted sanctions against these honourable ministers is in my opinion counter productive. It would improve Zimbabwe’s economy and the shocking performance of the country’s Executive if they were invited to attend educational tours of London’s Houses of Parliament, Washington’s Senate, and the EU head quarters in Brussels.